No news is good news …

at least this time. I haven’t posted for a while because not much has been happening at Cheese Acres. I’ve assembled all I need to hand in for the postponed Drawing Studies module net week, but not much embroidery has taken place since I completed the samples for the 2D module. I have done some knitting, but nothing very photogenic.

We have as much time as possible outside enjoying the peaceful [plane-free] sunshine. After seeing his consultant again this week Wensleydale has been provided with a pair of crutches, which he is having to get used to using again, about 50 years after he last used a pair.  However they have increased his mobility to a level which just about matches my post-chest-infection-from-hell stamina [hereinafter known as CIFH], so we have been pottering slowly round some of our favourite places before staggering into the nearest tea shop for medicinal tea and cake.

 

Today’s outing was to the Hillier Gardens, which is full of lovely spring flowers – small sample on the left. As you can see the sun was shining despite the Icelandic volcano dust which has kept the planes away. I have been warned that a book i ordered from the US may not arrive for a while – but hey, I can wait!

At the risk of sounding …

as if I have any interest in football – which I haven’t – I have to say how pleased I am that Pompey won the semi-final of the FA cup. It is difficult to live in Hampshire without knowing about the trials and tribulations of the club over the last year or so, and to sympathise with the players and fans who have been shafted by a crap owner and the FA. And beating Spurs to do it must have added an extra sweetness to the victory. [Sorry, Spurs fans, but if you must employ Harry Redknapp…]

And that, I promise, will be the last mention of sport you will see on this blog before the Tour de France [unless, of course, Pompey beat Chelsea …]

To turn to more usual matters – I have finished the 4 make-it-up-as-you-go-along samples for the college session I missed. You can plot the course of my improving health by the elaboration of these samples – a very plain patch and darn [although I’ve jazzed them up a bit today], a more elaborate sample of eyelet holes  and a completely over-the-top sample of drawn thread work – which is one of my favourite techniques.

I wasn’t sure whether we were meant to add beads etc. – our G&G teacher always encouraged the addition of ‘beads and sequins’ but T doesn't mention them – but the darn and patch looked so boring I added some buttons. And then a few beads crept onto the other pieces.

I also got started on my portfolio proper this morning. I can’t remember if I mentioned that after I'd made my drawing studies portfolio we were encouraged to present the drawings in a ‘proper’ one. I bought a ‘proper’ one and all its associated bits, which arrived just before I fell ill, so all I've been able to do about it since is worry. However I felt up to getting started today, and although I haven’t finished [wrestling with A1 paper = working on the floor = back-ache] it all seems much more doable.

So soon I hope to get back to proper sampling for the 2D piece!

Embroiderer does some stitching shock!

This is the sum total of my stitching over the last two weeks – bet you’re impressed!

And it’s not even embroidery – but my cack-handed attempts at a darn [top, right side and wrong side] and a patch [bottom, right side and wrong side].

The college session I missed was one the subject of ‘holes’ and was linked to the ‘everyday’ topic. L. kindly sent me  a summary of what I missed – and the requirement seemed to be to make 4 samples of holes, or ‘repairs’ to holes.

So I looked through a few books to research darning and patching, and these are the result. What sort of sad person has ‘a few’ books on darning and patching, you may ask? A sad person who collects old needlework books, the old the better. And the older they are, the more likely they re to have a lengthy section on repairing textiles – For example Amy K. Smith’s ‘Needlework for Student Teachers’ [1897 edition] has 65 well-illustrated pages on patching and darning! [And some indication of what girls were taught in needlework lessons in those days – which is a bit of an eye opener.]

I’m sure Ms Smith would not approve of my efforts – but heck, this is supposed to be creative.

I have now started on the making holes bit – at the moment lots and lots and lots of eyelets. Sitting with my feet up, doing some gentle hand sewing and listening to Radio 3 is about all I’m capable of at the moment – although we did haul ourselves up to Brooklands Museum yesterday to see the family. We had a picnic in the car park while the men watched the cars at Mercedes World – although I will admit that Babybel,  Mrs Cheddar and I were quite taken with the formation driving by 4 neon coloured Smart cars. Then, as I didn’t feel up to going round the museum, Wensleydale and I came home, while the others looked at cars and planes and went on Concorde.And a good time was had by all!

The product of a fevered imagination?

Cheese Major mentioned on Facebook that he had ‘registered his interest in tickets for Lords in 2012’. I was a bit surprised as he has never shown any interest in cricket, but as he pointed out in condescending tones to his dense old mother – it is the location for the archery matches in the Olympics.

Cheese Minor suggested that combining cricket and archery might lead to ‘brighter cricket’ – and having nothing better to do I spent half an hour in the bath working out some ideas.

Of course I had to start with the name - ‘Crarchery’ is silly but ‘Acket’ seemed much more suitable.

It has always seemed unfair to me that in a cricket match there are eleven players from one side on the field – but only two from the other. So we send the remaining members of the batting side on as archers. Much fairer!

To begin with I thought the archers could line up either side of the wicket, rather like the wings of archers at the battle of Agincourt – but decided, given the comparative scale of a cricket pitch and a battle ground, they would just end up shooting each other

So I decided that just as the bowler tells the fielders where to stand, the batsmen could place the archers round the pitch to their liking.

Of course, direct firing at the opposite side wouldn’t be – er- cricket, so the archers would only be allowed to fire at the ball, between the time it hits the ground, and the time a fielder gets his/her hand on it. [Any archer who actually splits the ball with an arrow wins the entire match for his/her side.]

Now this may sound a little one-sided, but after all the archers are spread around the ground just like the fielders, so there is always a possibility of ‘friendly fire’ – and anyway, they should all wear body armour and helmets, like batsmen already do. And those brightly coloured pyjamas they wear these days should make them stand out nicely against the grass. [Mmm – may be a need for protection for the spectators – needs a bit of R&D there.]

I did wonder about allowing the fielders to ride horses – a touch of medieval battles/polo – but we English don’t like to see horses get hurt. And anyway it would be silly.

In the interests of history/mobility/beautiful wood the archers would use longbows. [Mmm – may need more R&D to produce armour and helmets suitable for archers.]

Of course there is a possibility that whichever side bats first always wins – but this is not a fully developed plan, I recognise that it needs some refinement. We could start by playing some short limited over/arrow matches, and then if there were enough players left – I mean, enough interest -  progress to longer matches.

What do you think? All suggestions for refinements gratefully received.

I was about to say that it’s a pity the French don’t play cricket - but then I remembered a nasty rumour, which can’t possibly be true, that the French archery team beat us in the last Olympics, so maybe it’s better we don’t introduce them to Acket. They might take it as a form of revenge for Agincourt and Crecy and all those other small medieval disagreements …

Off to do some sewing!

Got to admit it’s getting better …

I don’t cough so much, I have the beginnings of a voice, and today I ate a toasted hot Cross bun – definitely food with edges!

Not sure what happened to the first week of April, though …

Obviously while I was out of it somebody called an election.  What I stupidly hadn’t realised, until I looked at the heap of Party Political hogwash which the postman brought us this morning, was that we live in a key Tory target constituency – i.e. there’s a chance they could gain a seat  here. So they are going to try very very hard.

I must confess that I am a card carrying member of one of the three major British political parties. Not that I think ‘my’ party is that much better than the others, – or that they have a cat in hell’s chance of ever forming a government – [there's a give away] but they do share my values far more than either of the others.

Being a party member normally lets you off a lot of the hoohah – your own party doesn’t bother [apart from making sure you get out and vote], and the opposition doesn’t waste it’s time. But with talk of a hung parliament, I suspect that this time the Tories won’t let us off so easily.

At the moment they are determinedly trying to persuade us that George Osborne [centre] will be a responsible Chancellor – someone who doesn't look old enough to be responsible for his own pocket money.

As opposed to Vince Cable [right]– the only major UK politician to see the financial crisis coming – and who, according to an old survey in the Times, is trusted more by Tory voters than GO.

And in the interests of balance – on the left, in fact if not in politics – some other feller.

Here endeth today’s party political broadcast – and I promise to try to avoid making any more.

In fact I may just go back to bed till it’s all over.

The good things in life …

1. It is a beautiful spring day and my cherry tree is in blossom.
2. I ate breakfast [OK, it was in bed.]
3. I had a nap.
4. I had a shower.
5. I have clean hair!!!!! Not sweat-soaked spikes. [This post may get a little graphic.]
6. I weighed myself. One of the [few] benefits of having no appetite fro 10 days is that you lose 4 kilos.]
7. I got dressed. In clothes – not night clothes.
8. I came downstairs.
9. I ate lunch. At lunchtime. With two courses. [Soup and yoghurt.]
10. I though about doing some homework to make up for the college session I missed.
11. My finger nails are longer than they have been for years. Cheshire’s beauty tip – for beautiful nails, lie down all the time and don’t do anything. [I think the coughing is an optional extra.]
12. Wensleydale has been the most brilliant nurse.

The bad things in life…

1. I still cough my guts up every time I move – and at random times in between.
2. I’ve pulled a muscle through coughing which makes it even more painful.
3. Despite a longing for a bacon sarnie, I can’t have one. Eating food with edges leads to coughing and unsightly spluttering. My diet is restricted to porridge, soup, bread if I soften it in the soup, yoghurt, grapes, water, orange juice and tea.
4. I’ve thought about homework, but can’t work up the energy to actually do any.
5. Despite drinking the contents of a small reservoir over the past 10 days, my skin has the texture and colour of an old dishcloth.
6. I still can’t talk.

Still – the good points outnumber the bad points. And I’ve got clean hair!!!!!

Thanks for all the kind messages you’ve sent. [Not sure about the ones in Chinese [?], so I rejected those.

Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.

Dispatch from the plague pit

I’m still here – just, although it has been one step forward and two back over the last few days. As I didn't feel I was getting much better I finally dragged myself down to the doctor’s today. You may think I should have gone sooner, but when things first took a turn for the worse it was all I could do to get out of bed, never mind get dressed and go out. And I was fairly sure it was a virus and our GP’s practice is one of those who don’t give you anti-biotics for a virus – because they don’t work.

So i pottered down and saw a rather personable young man who had lovely pictures of his baby [boy] and his dog [Springer Spaniel] on his desk. [Is this a legal requirement for GPs? all ours seem to do it – not that I've been near the place for years.] I had my ears eyes and throat looked at and my chest listened to – and was told, yes. it was a virus, and no, there wasn't any treatment.

Still, it’s nice to know I haven't got pneumonia. just an upper respiratory tract infection – and just getting dressed and going out did me good.

Still no energy to actually do anything and my brains is in something of a fog, just need to sit here – possibly even get up and walk round the garden occasionally – and wait.

It will be nice when I can actually talk again, not just whisper – not to mention sleeping lying down. And when I can use this machine at the desk and not rely on this !£^$$$£”” touchpad thingy which does NOT improve on acquaintance.